Feb 5, 2011 Square one again

So I let him back in thinking that i was OK with everything.  Only talked for about 20 minutes on Monday.  Now here i sit a complete mess.  Why i ask myself would i do this to myself again.  Well i guess it is in my nature to think that i can fix it or him which ever.  i have to learn it is not my job to fix him or the mess he created.  i have to work on myself and get me back to where i deserve to be on top.  The problem that i seem to be having is i am lonely.  I go to work, I go home, I deal with the kids and the animals and then i sit. I do not have that person to just hang out with and talk about all of this.  I feel like if i talk with others about my issue then i am becoming a burden on them. Everyone as their own issues the don't need mine.  I just wish God-the universe or what ever you want to name the power above would just help me get back to me whoever that might be.  I know I will get over this but does it really have to take this much time???  I look for tomorrow or even later today to be in a better state of mind.